I Want Some Butts!

Every summer has a big movie. Lots of those have become blockbusters. But only a handful of those were off the charts sensations. 1986's 'Top Gun' had all the goods: a pretty leading man; a love story; state-of-the-art action sequences; a hit soundtrack with a classic love song; dreamy jocks; a patriotic, cold war setting (with the Russians being referred to only as "the other side"); and the classic rise/fall/rise plot arc that makes for great drama. 22 years on, it hasn't lost any of the fun. It still has that summer sun feel and the alpha male dialogue has aged like fine wine:
"Son, your ego's writing checks your body can't cash"
" ...Well, the list is long and distinguished". "Yeah, So's my johnson";
"I don't like you because you're dangerous".
Watching a film this old, which was once the hippest thing in the world, can't help but look outdated and beg for ridicule.
But the thing that starts to get more obvious with subsequent, nostalgic viewings; the thing that inspires the most hooting and hollering in theaters; the thing that you just can't believe passed over the heads of the masses in the summer of 1986, is all the homo-erotic tension smoldering in so many scenes between the frat boy pilots and their instructors. I understand getting in another guy's face is meant to be intimidating; but when they're being shot in Tony Scott's soft and sexy filters and wearing any kind of uniform, they just look like they're gonna pounce on each other. In the movie's most unintentionally sultry scene, a devastated Cruise is hunched over the bathroom sink in nothing but his tighty wightys. A uniformed Tom Skerritt enters to inform him of Goose's death, and soon leaves after running his hand, slowly, along Cruise's naked back in a misguided attempt at consolation. And that's not the only scene where Cruise is bent over wearing next to nothing amongst other guys.
And then there's the dialogue. In the movie's most unintentionally funny moment, Chester bursts into the locker room to send Maverick and Goose to get scolded for unruly flying on the school's first day. But his hungry glare just makes the line sound like an invitation to an orgy: "You and Goose get your butts out of that flight gear and up to Viper's office, now". Shortly afterwards, while waiting outside Viper's office, they overhear the disgruntled tower control officer demanding retribution for his tower getting buzzed by Maverick's plane: "I want someone's BUTT, I want it NOW, I've HAD IT"! He then storms off screaming, 'I want some BUTTS!"
There's more. But I guess watching any film featuring alpha males in and out of uniforms so many times can just be an invitation to homo-erotic mockery. 'Top Gun' still feels like one of the great popcorn flicks, especially during end credits featuring close ups of the whole cast set to The Righteous Brothers' 'You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling' (and the bar scene where the cast belts out the same). But it's hard not to giggle when Viper, in an attempt to be honest with a broken hearted Maverick, casually says, "I'm not here to blow sunshine up your ass, Lieutenant".